10. Caricature Montage.  Are you familiar?  These are giant photos with tons of avatars or Disney characters scattered around.  They really do not bother me that bad, but I never get tagged as anyone good.

9. Fans.  “Are you a fan of God?”  I am not sure how to answer that.  If I say yes is that disrespectful?  God is not a sports team.  If I say no will God start calling me Peter?  I do not live by any roosters, so I might be okay.  Why does Facebook have me questioning this anyways?  By the way I love God.

8. Poking.

7. Suggestions.  Hey Facebook, you do not know me.  Please do not suggest people as friends.  If that person is my friend, I will friend them.  I do not need your expert computer brain knowledge of probability to present potential friends.  Thanks.

6. Tagging.  Please do not tag me in videos or photos to which I have no relationship.  I do not care.

5. Event: I lost my numbers.  When your phone breaks, I am sorry.  When you accidentally wash it with your jeans, I am sorry.  When you get drunk and fall into a swimming pool while holding your phone, you are an idiot.  Regardless of your reasoning, please do not invite me to an intangible event that was created by you to reload your new phone with numbers.

4.  Favorite Books.  Please do not list ever title of every book that you have ever touched.  You will not look or be perceived any smarter than you already display.

3. Mafia.  I do not want to be in your Mafia, please stop asking.  I also do not want to be in your dance crew, on your pirate ship, in your happy hour club, or playing Oregon Trail with you.  If you invite me to play Scrabble, I will think about it.

2. Controversial Status Updates.  Why do you do it?  You know whom you are, those of you who post political, theological, offensive, and controversial status updates on Facebook.  Go Obama or I love Jesus.  Fine.  That is awesome!  When you take an aggressive stance purely to ruffle feathers amongst your “friends,” get over yourself.  No one wants to read that crap.  If there was a Facebook application called: Punch the Idiot, I would send you an invitation.

1. Photos.  I love the concept of sharing photos with one another.  The tagging aspect unites people and documents events.  It’s a great facet to Facebook.  However, please do not post blurry or out of focus pictures.  People do not need to sift through your inside jokes or bad photography.  Please do not post sideways or upside pictures.  Have the decently to adjust the positioning of your photos before posting them.  Please do not post multiple angles of the same shot.  Just because you took 10 photos to capture the perfect smile does not mean we need to see that progression.  Find the best photo and share it.  Finally, please do not post professional headshots.  Agents do not scan profile pictures for the next supermodel.  If they are NOT professional headshots, do not use them for anything.  Most importantly do not share them with us on Facebook.